The possible, the do-able and the irrelevant
 

Unexpected Archives

 
 

Sun, 11 Jul 04

 
 

Chav - New to me

 
 

You realise that you're getting old when there are whole portions of language that you don't have the faintest idea what it means.

I came across one of these today - Chav. In my youth the probably equivalent was probably Casuals - people who wore 'sporting' attire in pastel shades - Lacoste, Sergio Tacchini, etc. If you want the full lowdown/definition of Chav there are plenty at Urban Dictionary.

Clearly from ChavScum.co.uk, there are quite a few people who don't really like Chav's and Chavette's (the female equivalent). The Name Your Chav Baby is brilliant - eg Tony Blair become Tyson Brooklyn Blair.


Take a closer look at the linked image at the top of this - there is a Martin Parr-beauty to it - something about the bump and the lighting.

 
   
 
 

Unexpected Archives

 
 

Wed, 30 Jun 04

 
 

What Tube strike?

 
 

It was with some trepidation that I made the trip to the tube station today after hearing endless press about how it was going to be completely closed down.

I'd looked at the Tube Web site and was pleasantly surprised to see that trains were running on the Northern Line and indeed they were. I waited on the platform for about twice as long as I normally do and had to change at Camden to get on the West End branch, but apart from that it was no different to normal. Actually it was better as there were a lot less people on board.

Arriving at the office, I heard of a long painful journey, starting in a similar part of North London, from a British Rail station. After a car journey to the BR station, being crammed into the carriage like a sardine and a bus journey had been necessary to get from Kings Cross to the office, it ended taking him about twice as long as normal.

My advice - take the tube.

 
   
 
 

Unexpected Archives

 
 

Tue, 29 Jun 04

 
 

BT Light user scheme/scam

 
 

BT has recently pushed one of my home phone lines on their Option 1 call plan, which is now costing me considerably more money than previously.

I called them today to transfer it back to something less expensive, their Light user scheme, where you are rebated if few calls are made. I learnt that if you have more than one phone line in the house you don't qualify for it. What a strange business BT is. If I pay them more money by having a multiple phone lines, I can't qualify for a discount I was previously entitled to.

 
   
 
 

Unexpected Archives

 
 

Mon, 7 Jun 04

 
 

QueueBuster - Innovation from BT: shock, horror

 
 

Wow, I'm in a slight state of shock.

I called BT today to sort out a query and got a "We're really busy ... long queue ... blah, blah, blah" message from them as normal, but then the automated attendant informed me that I put in a phone number that they could call me back on. Slightly surprised at what appeared to be customer service from BT I entered my mobile number.

Shock Horror! Within a couple of minutes my mobile was ringing to help me out. The operator told me that QueueBuster (QB as I'm sure it's know as in the trade) was only recently introduced and is currently used when it gets really busy at their end.

What is the world coming to? - BT providing customer services. The very foundations of the UK infrastructure are shaking.

It feels very strange to type this but here goes ... Well done BT.

 
   
 
 

Unexpected Archives

 
 

Mon, 17 May 04

 
 

Ouch - Microsoft's latest legal bill

 
 

As we all know Microsoft has been in many legal battles but they are currently fighting a law firm for the size of their legal bill.

Microsoft feel the $258m (£146.7m) is excessive. The case lasted for five years, but just look at the charge rates ...

Mr Crew has billed Microsoft just over $3,000 an hour for his own work, as well as more than $2,000 an hour for other lawyers on his team.

 
   
 
 

Unexpected Archives

 
 

Thu, 22 Apr 04

 
 

93% of Chinese Youth Say “I Hate Japan”

 
 

Disturbing news. Originally this was an FT story, but it's being reported here in a youth focused Korea publication.

Beijing’s Horizon Research Group surveyed Chinese people under 35. The result
was that 93% of the respondents answered they ‘hate’ Japan. In particular, 80% of them said they ‘really hate’ Japan. The result shows an extreme anti-Japanese sentiment among Chinese youth and adults. The major reason for this is that China was once under Japanese rule.

The other piece of news that passed me by was that
Last year, the Japanese Government planned to develop a bullet train to link Beijing and Shanghai. But 80,000 Chinese netizens protested online and nullified the plan.

 
   
 
 

Unexpected Archives

 
 

Wed, 21 Apr 04

 
 

SMS gets text'r 6 months in jail

 
 

Beer-ed up Ryan Jenkins sent a text message to the giant SMS displaying screen at the Cardiff nightclub he was in, and ended up paying for it.

OK, creating a bomb scare is never a clever thing to do and is always to be avoided, but to get six month prison sentence for it is incredibly steep.

 
   
 
 

Unexpected Archives

 
 

Thu, 15 Apr 04

 
 

Tim Berners-Lee wins Award (and money!)

 
 

It's great to see Tim Berners-Lee (who as we all know is the Englishman that invented the World Wide Web when at CERN in 1989) has finally received a financial award for his world-changing efforts.

The Millennium Technology Prize was awarded to him by the Finnish Technology Award Foundation and follows on from the Knighthood he received at the end of 2003.

Thank goodness and three cheers.

 
   
 
 

Unexpected Archives

 
 

Tue, 17 Feb 04

 
 

F/A-18A (was) on eBay

 
 

I spotted an item on Slashdot about someone selling an F/A-18A Navy Blue Angel Hornet on eBay. Last time I looked it had risen to US $8,100,300.00 US $8,130,305.00 (that has changed in about 15 mins).

There's some great comments on /. about it.

One particularly earnest person comments

I would hate for some wack-job with money to get a hold of one of these, get some armament via the black market, and use it to do something regrettable.
To which the reply was
Too late - he's already got 'em. And I don't think you should be calling the President of the USA a "wack-job".
Following some discussions on whether the purchaser of the plane would actually be able to fly it, given the need to hard to attain approval, someone commented that
"So unless you're ex-military, you'd have yourself a $9 million lawn ornament."
The great response came
I would love to have a F/A-18 sitting out on my lawn. In the fall I could use the afterburners to clear all the leaves from my yard. In the winter they could melt the snow on my driveway. I haven't thought of a use for spring and summer yet...
The final highlight underlined how many of the people reading slashdot have the time to research. A couple of people had looked in to the eBay purchasing history of a few of the bidders, questioning whether they actually had the millions they were bidding
wtmahan has bought repair manuals for a 1995 Nissan Protege. Anybody who drives one of those, and wants to fix it him/herself probably cannot afford an F/A-18.

The high bidder now apparently sells juggling clubs for $20 a pop. He can't possibly be serious. The guy who was high bidder this morning at least had among his past purchases a pilot's carry-on bag, a wooden model of a twin engine Cessna, and some sort of "pilot training on CD" software.
Update - eBay have pulled the auctions and some have alledged that the seller, Michael Landa, is dishonest.

 
   
 
 

Unexpected Archives

 
 

Mon, 16 Feb 04

 
 

The proposed closure of Finchley Central Post Office

 
 

It has been suggested that the Post Office in Finchley Central (otherwise know as Church End), London should close. The public rose up to make their feelings known on the days of 'consultation', standing outside on a freezing cold day. I went along and could hardly get in to the branch due to the queue of customers waiting to use the Post Office services. This isn't unusual, it has huge queue every day.

I asked the one of the two harangued Post Office representatives why the branch needed to close. The expected 'financial reasons' excuse was trotted out. When I asked for a slightly deeper explanation, I was told they didn't have any further information. How patronising - just expecting their customers to be bamboozled by the cloak of 'financial reasons', with no intention of explaining what this meant.

The 'consultation' is total window dressing, smoke and mirrors to try and fool the public that their feeling/thoughts are being taken into consideration. Unfortunately for the Post Office, the public isn't being fooled by this and can see through this patronising sham.

The Post Office is vital to sustaining a local area. People who use the Post Office will then use the surrounding shops and the local business and the many self employed rely on it send packages. If this central keystone is removed from an area, there is a very real risk that, over time the area it sat within will wither and die.

The underlying reason the branches are being closed is because of the incompetence of the Post Office senior management, who despite their monopoly still manage to lose money on a colossal scale. Why should the UK's society suffer because of their failings?

It was reported in our local paper that the Post Office is offering to pay the people running sub-Post Offices, £200,000 - the equivalence of 26 months wages, to close. What kind of insanity is that?

In a time where competition will be arriving for the Post Office, they should be trying to make friends, not enemies. When a choice becomes available, current customers will remember and will make a active choice to _not_ support the Post Office. If this policy is pursued, the UK Post Office is finished.

 
   
 
 

Unexpected Archives

 
 

Thu, 22 Jan 04

 
 

Shocking news

 
 

Taking the Tube home last night, I was reading though some of my papers when I happened to glance over my shoulder and saw the newspaper of the person sitting next to me.

I was totally shocked with what I saw, it was the sort of headline I didn't ever imagine I'd see

15 year old rapes mother
Not surprisingly the Swansea judge was quoted as saying he could find no record of this type of offence. Judge Hall was quoted as saying "This is not a witch-hunt in any sense of the word", which is admirable and balanced when dealing with someone who is clearly very disturbed.

Finding the story on the BBC site today, I read that his mother has been pleading that her son receives the best possible assistance.

That is what you call unconditional love.

 
   
 
 

Unexpected Archives

 
 

Mon, 19 Jan 04

 
 

Mike Rowe angers Microsoft

 
 

This is too funny/ridiculous/unbelievable.

A 17-year old, called Mike Rowe, decided to form a company to do some part time computer work through. Given his name, he named his company MikeRoweSoft and therefore bought the domain MikeRoweSoft.com*.

The legal eagles at Smart & Biggar, Microsoft's Canadian lawyers picked up this domain registration and wrote to him requesting him to close it down. After some back and forth between the two parties, Mike has now reached a point where a FedEx Priority Overnight package containing a book over an inch thick with a 25 page letter accusing him of always having the intention to sell the domain name to Microsoft for a large cash settlement. Mike is adamant this isn't the case - and I have no reason not to believe him, he is using name after all, and the chances of confusion are minimal.

I hold out hope that high profile legal action like this and that of the RIAA taking legal action against 12 year old girls will make the general public aware of how on occasions, over keen, highly paid lawyer get carried away. Reaction of the public is one of only things that will get company exec to reign in their law firms and get them to desist their bullying attitudes.


* - Due to the large amount of traffic he is currently getting after press exposure, Mike's site is unavailable - perversely bringing the effect Microsoft was trying to achieve by instructing lawyers. It's at times like this that Google cached version's come in to their own.

 
   
 
 

Unexpected Archives

 
 

Wed, 24 Dec 03

 
 

BSE found in US, please learn from the UK

 
 

I heard on BBC Radio 4 today that BSE (Bovine Spongiform Encephalopathy) has been discovered in Washington state.

The infection of the animal was detected on 9.Dec, it appears that only now is the news being released. It is understood that the meat from the animal is now in the human food chain. Its spinal cord and brain went to a rendering plant, passing in to the creation of cattle feed or pet food.

American Agriculture secretary, Ann Veneman, was quoted as saying "I plan to serve beef for my Christmas dinner and we remain confident in our food supply," Let's not forget the beef industry in the US is a $100Bn business and that might be colouring the advice.

We in the UK have heard politicians speaking in the same way prior to our BSE infection. One of our own politicians, John Selwyn, even fed a beef burger to his daughter in front of the camera to try and calm the public.

About a week ago died it was confirmed that a man in the UK died from variant Creutzfeldt-Jakob Disease (vCJD) after receiving a blood transfusion infected with BSE. At the time of the UK outbreak, we were told it was not possible for the disease to pass from animals to humans.

 
   
 
 

Unexpected Archives

 
 

Thu, 18 Dec 03

 
 

Are you pulling my ... ?

 
 

I've just noticed a comment left by gasmarkboy on an old piece I'd written about Sound Sets, which I may or may not bear in mind. Probably not on brief reflection.

The URL he'd left lead me to a novel xmas gift, that luckily have "firm steel studs, that ain't gonna pop under pressure!" Ow. If you're brave there's photo's of them in use on the site, which not surprisingly, are best not looked at when at work, or possibiliy not at all. Is this further proof that people have too much time on their hands?

 
   
 
 

Unexpected Archives

 
 

Thu, 11 Dec 03

 
 

German cannibal postings

 
 

Well done to waxy.org for digging out the original postings to Usernet group alt.sex.snuff.cannibalism (or ASSC) that Armin Meiwes, the man currently on trial in Germany, made. They are available on Google Groups.

They are not as scary as you might first think, being very concise and to the point with "i butchering you and eat your horny flesh." being my 'favourite'.

It's interesting to see that between May 2002 and Aug 2002, he'd widened his group of interest from boys of 18-25 to 18-30. Clearly not a stickler for this, he ended up eating a 43 year old.

The waxy.org story also links to the main ASSC postings and some fan fiction - I had a quick look at this and I'd really recommended steering clear, especially if you are reading it over lunch.

 
   
 
 

Unexpected Archives

 
 

Mon, 8 Dec 03

 
 

Four meals away from anarchy

 
 

I was watching a TV program about cyberwarfare and Stephen Badsey from the Royal Military Academy, Sandhurst, UK claimed that "the world is four meals away from anarchy". A great statement, but how true it is, I am not sure.

His presentation was very well balanced and considered, but digging around about him, I found his paper given at the 2000 Air Power Conference entitled "Manipulating The Media".

 
   
 
 

Unexpected Archives

 
 

Fri, 5 Dec 03

 
 

Anyone for sauteed penis?

 
 

[If you are squeamish, I would not read this]

You may be aware of the trial starting in Germany of Armin Miewes, a self-confessed cannibal, who over a period of time, had email contact with over four hundred people and met a number who wanted to be treated as a animal and get prepared for slaughter.

The Australian has a very matter of fact reporting of the start of the trial. I found the further I read, the more incredulous I became at the mixture of extreme brutality mixed with normal life, with no clear distinction between the two

One allowed himself to be hung on a hook in Clingfilm awaiting slaughter. "He changed his mind and said it was too cold to be killed, so I drove him back to the station,"
A pretty weak excuse, by lucky escape methinks. Other had a more elaborate plans
A man identified as Andreas from Regensburg wanted to be collected in a cattle wagon, pushed into a cage in Meiwes's improvised attic "slaughter room" and given the chance to lick his bloodstained rubber boots.

An unidentified German living in London visited Meiwes and wanted to be handcuffed and have labels pinned to his body marking him out for butchery.

"Later we went to watch a film," Meiwes said. "I think it was Ocean's Eleven with George Clooney."

The person who was eventually killed, Bernd-Jurgen Brandes, who after selling his car, writing a will and taking the day off work to sort out what he called 'a personal matter', popped over to Armin's. After a little chat, he flopped his schwanstucker on the kitchen table and Armin chopped it off, dropped it in to a frying pan with garlic, salt and pepper. Becoming faint and thinking he might not make it, Bernd-Jurgen became impatient to chomp his chopper and eat it semi-cooked - which annoyed him. I have sympathy for him, imagine how disappointing that must be - a one off chance for success, that didn't deliver.

Too strange.

 
   
 
 

Unexpected Archives

 
 

Sun, 5 Oct 03

 
 

The insane cost of UK trains tickets

 
 

I was considering a short trip up to Liverpool next week to attend the International Games Conference & Exhibition.

I went to look up prices for trains on the Web and while I wasn't surprised that the prices started at £100 for the return - it's only a few days away - the truly shocking was what happened to the prices after that. The next step up in availability was £326 for a Standard Open Return, but then it was only then a couple of step up to £524.40 for a Virgin Business Return. £524.40! This is London to Liverpool, UK not Ukraine. That's £60 short of a return flight to Australia.

What is happening to the UK railways and the pricing? So much for the free market ideals.

 
   
 
 

Unexpected Archives

 
 

Tue, 19 Aug 03

 
 

Enola Gay cleaned - in a number of ways

 
 

Enola Gay, the plane that on 6.Aug. 1945 dropped the first Atomic bomb on Hiroshima, has been restored and displayed to the press near Dulles International Airport, USA.

I think it's quite strange to want to hold this icon of horror up high, with pride, saying look what we did. Let's not forget the bomb, nicknamed "Little Boy", killed more than 140,000. But facts like this are going to be ignored when the Smithsonian's Air and Space Museum start to show this to the public in December.

"The current text for the Enola Gay exhibit does not include casualty figures from Hiroshima or show any photographs of the devastation the bomb caused.

Daso told Reuters that death toll estimates varied widely and the exhibition space did not lend itself to a complicated display including details of the human cost."

Reuters report

As we all know - the victors of warfare have the power to re-write or ignore history.

Video

 
   
 
 

Unexpected Archives

 
 

Wed, 13 Aug 03

 
 

Stick that in your pipe ...

 
 

[If you're squeamish, I wouldn't read this one]

I'm glad to say I've lead a sheltered life as far as Hegar Sound Sets are concerned.

To quote the site "Hegar sounds are fun", but I really don't see it. The only time I thought things were inserted into a man pee hole was for STD testing, and that's not something that people are keen to repeat once experienced. It really isn't the kind of thing I thought you'd practice as a hobby - you have to bear in mind that these things go up to 16mm (about 5/8") wide!

The only slightly reassuring information on the site is that they don't accept return items.

Now that's over, I'm welcoming my sheltered, innocent life back with open arms.

 
   
 
 

Unexpected Archives

 
 

Thu, 31 Jul 03

 
 

Steve Hislops killed in helicopter crash

 
 

Sad news - Steve Hislop, British Superbike champion and eleven times winner of the Isle of Man TT has died as the helicopter he was piloting crashed in the Scottish Borders. A very talented rider.

 
   
 
 

Unexpected Archives

 
 

Sat, 12 Jul 03

 
 

McDonalds Leicester Square rent costs

 
 

How refreshing to be reminded of the interesting things that you can stumble across on the Internet. Davis Coffer Lyons are property advisers in London specialising in restaurants, bars, pubs (apparently). Their current property deals are quite interesting, but in particular, one of their old newsletters has the rent details for McDonalds Leicester Square.

Acting for private investors against McDonalds, Davis Coffer Lyons have negotiated the first £400 per sq ft (£4,300 per m²) Zone A rent for restaurant premises in Leicester Square.

The original letting to McDonalds 10 years ago also set a record level of Zone A which was not surpassed until recently. The restaurant, which has a gross area of around 650 m² (7000 sq ft) is prominently located at the entrance to Leicester Square with frontages to Swiss Court and Whitcomb Street.

That's serious cash - in fact it's £2.8m a year, in ground rent alone - a lot of dead cows.

 
   
 
 

Unexpected Archives

 
 

Thu, 26 Jun 03

 
 

Fantastic Japanese trucks

 
 

Fantastic Japanese trucks with more than a passing similarity to dragons. Serious chrome.

[via Steve Hunt]

 
   
 
 

Unexpected Archives

 
 

Wed, 25 Jun 03

 
 

PC in Atari 800 case

 
 

What a brilliant mod. Someone has put a Mini-ITX board in an Atari 800.

 
   
 
 

Unexpected Archives

 
 

Mon, 23 Jun 03

 
 

Huge CAT truck

 
 

I was in Devon last week with Sally & Alpha and we decided to take a trip to the Eden Project. On the 2.5 hour journey we pulled over to get some crumbs from Alpha's dress and we happened on a transporter carrying a _huge_ CAT waiting for its police escort. The tyres alone were over seven foot tall and I was told, it's the largest vehicle of its type that can be transported on the road without being dismantled, the bigger one has to be split into three pieces. They take it's wheels off, remove the cab and carry the tipper separately.

 
   
 
 

Unexpected Archives

 
 

Tue, 17 Jun 03

 
 

Indian Boy has beetles in his urine

 
 

I don't know if this report is true, but it is on Reuters, so it could be slightly more believable that normal but it does sound a bit too much like the Urban myth/ apocryphal tale of the spiders escaping during an operation to remove a lump on someones arm. An unfortunate lad in India has had some beetle hatching in his bladder and he's weeing the 0.5 centimetre things out. Oh and they're the winged variety. How they got there is unclear.

I wonder if he's now calling his urine BeetleJuice?

 
   
 
 

Unexpected Archives

 
 

Fri, 13 Jun 03

 
 

Last village in Britain to connect to the electricity network

 
 

Electricity was switched on in a tiny village for the first time last week. Until now, people in Cwm Brefi, West Wales, have relied on diesel generators for a couple of hours a day - usually for evening TV. But a £250,000 project has now connected its 11 homes to the national grid via 197 poles have been set up across nine miles of land. Villagers rushed to buy fridges, toasters and kettles before the switch-on. But Julie Hutchings, 42, said the greatest luxury was light at the flick of a switch. Before this remarkable delay in joining modern society one resident was quoted as saying "You have to get your sums right. We can't have the washing machine and hoover (vacuum cleaner) on at the same time."

 
   
 
 

Unexpected Archives

 
 

Mon, 9 Jun 03

 
 

Sendo suing Orange UK

 
 

Surprising to see that Sendo are suing Orange UK for an alleged patent infringement with the SPV. My understanding was that Orange SPV was designed and manufactured by a Far East company on Oranges' behalf.

 
   
 
 

Unexpected Archives

 
 

Sat, 31 May 03

 
 

Train spotters are potential terrorists in the UK

 
 

There was a story in the UK last year when fourteen English plane spotters were arrested on spying charges in Greece after they had been sitting outside air bases making notes and taking photo's. It was viewed with some amusement in the English press, that the Greek authorities could have thought these plainly harmless people might have been a threat. In fact one BBC news headline was "How did plane-spotters end up as spies?"

Now there's reports that train spotters in the UK are being forced to move off railway platforms in the UK for "anti-terror security". I know it sounds like a joke, but this is actually happening. The National Rail spokesperson is quoted

"We do have issues with people coming along to take photographs on our stations. We do allow people to do it if they phone us in advance so we can arrange for the station to be told that people will be turning up, they know they are there and who they are.

"It could be any sort of terrorist activity or whatever. Unless we know who these people are, and what they are doing, it's best to be on the safe side."

How ridiculous is this? The stations are drenched in CCTV coverage so the chances of a hostile train spotter bring a weapon on to the platforms is near to zero. It also supposes that either terrorist don't know how to use a phone to get advanced clearance, or that they wouldn't be prepared to lie to get it.

Reading the stories from people who have experienced this, it appears that the security personnel are using heavy handed, bullying tactics to move them on and are taking advantage of the implicit good nature of the trainspotters.

It's not clear where the "security" guidance is coming from but the final paragraph is telling

a meeting of US security officials in Washington in March reportedly classified "people sitting on train platforms who appear to be monitoring the timing of arrivals and departures" as suspicious behavior.
I'd like to know where the security risk actually is and if the danger is that they might note down the arrival and departure times of the trains, well, isn't that the kind of information that the timetable is supposed to provide - oh no, of course, this is the UK - it will bear no correlation. Perhaps that will be the next excuse for the trains not running on time - it's an anti-terrorist measure.

What is happening to the UK that in a year we can go from sniggering about another countries paranoia, to actually implementing the same draconian rules?

 
   
 
 

Unexpected Archives

 
 

Fri, 30 May 03

 
 

Rats multiply fast

 
 

A pair of rats can breed a litter of twelve in four weeks.

 
   
 
 

Unexpected Archives

 
 

Thu, 29 May 03

 
 

BT spamming?

 
 

I received a spam email today promoting a broadband service - from BT! I am 100% sure this was unrequested as it was to my daughters' domain, and given she's a little short of three, I know she didn't sign up to receive promotional emails.

What strikes me about this is the total hypocrisy of BT proudly offering their customers tools to cut out spam - while they're associated with the distribution of spam themselves.

To quote Duncan Ingram, managing director at BT Openworld from his 6th May press release subtitled "unprotected users suffering from junk mail overload, according to BT Openworld and Brightmail"

"Security threats and spam are two of the biggest nuisances on the net, which is why we've demonstrated our commitment to the cause by providing customers with a free service."

I looked a little further into this spam email and contacted the phone number supplied - 01708 756555. DMSL (Direct Market Services Ltd) told me what they collected the customers orders and passed them directly to BT Openworld. The strength of the relationship between the two companies is further demonstrated by the fact that when you go the Web site of the supplied contact email address, www.brightband.co.uk, you are diverted to BT Openworlds' own site - http://www.btopenworld.com/DMS.

At a long stretch it's possible that DMSL is acting against the specific direction of BT Openworld, unlikely, but possible. What is for sure is that most people receiving this email, will just see the BT logo's and think BT is spamming them.

If you also think BT being involved with the distribution of spam email is as wrong as I do, I suggest you call the office of BT's chairman on 020 7356 5000 to complain.

 
   
 
 

Unexpected Archives

 
 

Fri, 23 May 03

 
 

Coffin coffee table

 
 

I found this in the London freebie paper, Metro

Police raided a house after a tip-off a body was inside - and found a coffin being used as a coffee table. They swooped after Mick Fowell, who bought the casket for his own funeral, told a social worked visiting his Norfolk home: "Ignore the box - it's the quietest she has been for 40 years and I am enjoying the silence."
Clearly funny, but a quick look at Google shows that this idea isn't that unique and it can be pretty expensive, if you don't take the DIY approach.

 
   
 
 

Unexpected Archives

 
 

Tue, 20 May 03

 
 

Japanese business protocols

 
 

For the first time I'm contacting senior Japanese business people and I'm really unsure of the cultural do's & don't's. So basic was my knowledge, that I needed to find out how to introduce myself having never met them before. I now know a little more thanks to the comprehensive list at Asia Source. There are many things that, in the West, would go without a second thought, that are no no's such as

Never sit with your ankle crossed over your knee.
and at the more confusing end of the scale
In Japan, a smile could mean happiness, amusement, confusion, embarrassment, anger, sadness, or nothing. It is important to interpret a smile in the proper context.

< smile >

BTW - I wonder if US rappers ever get any problems, causing unintended offence with

Never point at someone with four fingers spread out and your thumb folded.

 
   
 
 

Unexpected Archives

 
 

Wed, 14 May 03

 
 

Pet Monkey For Sale

 
 

And you thought pets.com was a dumb idea ... well here's PrimateStore.com, strap line "Everything for Primate Lovers". They've even got pet monkeys for sale.
[via Neil Reynolds]

 
   
 
 

Unexpected Archives

 
 

Mon, 12 May 03

 
 

Wristphone hugely popular

 
 

Amazing to see that the DoCoMo Wristphone sold out in 20 minutes.

 
   
 
 

Unexpected Archives

 
 

Tue, 6 May 03

 
 

Are phones on aeroplanes dangerous?

 
 

After reading Guy Kewney's piece on the confusion of airlines and their attitude to mobile phones, I wrote this comment to him

I read your piece with interest as it's been a question I've been asking for a few years.

To further muddy the waters, the BBC has a news story today about Siemens running 3G on-board planes. Given the airlines current stance, how can this be safe?

If the airlines do have to change their minds on the use of mobile phones during flights, I can imagine their going to be paying a lot of compensation to people who have been JAILED for using their phones on-board. Neil Whitehouse was sentenced to 12 months in 1999 and more recently, Faiz Chopdat faced a potential two years sentence for playing tetris on his phone.

I was surprised that neither of these people legal defence brought forward expert witness to disprove the threat to safety.

The judge in the Whitehouse case said "the sentence should serve as a warning that mobile phone use on planes would be treated as seriously as violence on aircraft".

The Civil Aviation Authority (CAA) comment on their Web site says

The CAA has conducted research which provided evidence that a mobile phone transmission on-board an aircraft may interfere with equipment including communications, navigation and flight control systems.
This doesn't sound conclusive or authoritative to me -- too many clauses -- "provided evidence", "may interfere". I agree, we need a definitive answer.

 
   
 
 

Unexpected Archives

 
 

Sat, 12 Apr 03

 
 

Jerry Springer - The Opera

 
 

When I saw ads for this on the tube I thought it was as joke, but reading around, it appears to be real. It's the opening gambit from Nicholas Hytner as he takes over at the English National Theatre. Jerry Springer - The Opera is only planned to have 48 performances and it started it's run on the 9th April.

 
   
 
 

Unexpected Archives

 
 

Thu, 10 Apr 03

 
 

Dead worrying

 
 

Given the fluctuation in the level of truth in the PopBitch information, please take this at face value. If it's true, I'm amazed that it wasn't illegal before.

"Necrophilia is about to get banned in Britain.
The forthcoming Sexual Offences Bill includes
a clause that will, for the first time, make
it a crime to have sex with a corpse.

(FYI: Morticians will be exempt from this law. As will those who penetrate any part of a dead body "fully believing the person to be alive, but who is in fact dead, or unexpectedly dies during intercourse".)"

Where do you monitor the level of job applications to become an mortition? I wonder if they will rise?

 
   
 
 

Unexpected Archives

 
 

Mon, 31 Mar 03

 
 

Fat girls and Feeders

 
 

I've just watched an extraordinary TV programme on UK Channel 4. "Fat girls and Feeders" was about super-sized girls and their fans known as Fat Admirers, or FAs. The main story was about Gina and her partner Mark who worked together to grow Gina to 60 stones, qualifying her as the heaviest ever woman model. During the process he started by taking Polaroid photo's of her moving on to making videos which became best sellers in the sub-culture that is FA. The final video he made was to document the last time she was going to be able to walk, due to her enormous size. Given she nearly died, it's pretty luckily that she made the decision to have surgery to start her reduction to her current 30 stones.

It also covered the darker/darkest side which are Feeders. These people provide food, whenever and whatever is required, but then pump it up with weight gain supplements and even go as extreme as pouring liquid fat down tubes down the feedees throats. Even in this world, these people are viewed as strange. I did a search for images and only came up with a few, but the most extreme.

I came away with the feeling that the super-sized girls were tremendously insecure and that when attention is lavished on them, possibly for the first time in their adult lives, they become pawns for the men that like control. This is most clear with the Feeders, who render the feedees immobile and totally dependant on them.

Sal had seen the show before and remarked on the similarity of the super-sized women and the Dali sketch, "Platja adormida" that we had see in a recent trip to Pubol in Spain. Wonder is Dali was a mild FA?

 
   
 
 

Unexpected Archives

 
 

Wed, 26 Mar 03

 
 

US Allies?

 
 

I was just listening to "The World at one" on UK BBC Radio 4 and in an interview with a US Army Captain, the presenter Nick Clark asked him if it was helpful to have the UK military fighting with them. Not a particularly difficult question to answer you would have thought, given UK military personnel are risking their lives in this operation.

The first answer was inconclusive and evasive, so Nick Clark gave an opportunity to clear up the confusion by asking the question a second time. To my total astonishment, the second answer was equally deflective, along the lines that the people of Basra should be grateful that the UK military are helping them.

Why not -- Yes, we're both in this together and it's great to be fighting with our allies. What unbelievable arrogance.

The political leaders in the UK are telling the population that we should be supporting the service personnel who are out in the Gulf - well, how about some support from the people that they are fighting alongside - the US military.

 
   
 
 

Unexpected Archives

 
 

Fri, 3 Jan 03

 
 

When will Microsoft improve?

 
 

I've been having trouble with my ie 5.5 browser, when I opened a new page it would take about 5 seconds for it to appear. This obviously drove me insane as my browser is my most heavily used app and I'm constantly opening new browser sessions.

I decided to upgrade ie to version 6 to see if that improved things. I went to Windows update and followed what it requested and after two downloads, installs and machine reboots I was ready to rock. Loaded up my newly designed site and ... the whole thing looked totally different and awful. I'm just amazed that Microsoft can still get away with being so inconsistent.


BTW - I tracked down the software that was slowing my browser down - it was a plug-in called Stumble Upon. Needless to say, I've now removed it from my machine and my browser sessions are now near instant again.

 
   
 
 

Unexpected Archives

 
 

Sun, 29 Dec 02

 
 

Brighton's West Pier collapses

 
 

I've just heard on the radio that the UK's Brighton West Pier has partially collapses in heavy seas. It's been derelict for many decades (since the 70's) but here had been a long running plan to do it up. Clearly this didn't happen quickly enough - what a great shame.

 
   
 
 

Unexpected Archives

 
 

Thu, 19 Dec 02

 
 

Bureau of Inverse Technology

 
   
   
 
 

Unexpected Archives

 
 

Tue, 17 Dec 02

 
 

6% are mobile

 
 

I've just read that 6% of the homes in America are Mobile homes - Amazing. As I used to joke about with Dave, most mobile homes never leave from the spot they first come to rest in and end up being surrounded by brick walls attempting to disguise the fact that they are mobile homes.

 
   
 
 

Unexpected Archives

 
 

Fri, 18 Oct 02

 
 

When browsing the BT corporate

 
 

When browsing the BT corporate site to research a piece for my commercial site, I came across the news that in August 2003, BT will be discontinuing 192 (directory enquiries) and replacing it with 118500!.

Why?

 
   
 
 

Unexpected Archives

 
 

Thu, 12 Sep 02

 
 

World Cyber Games

 
 

I didn't know this was coming up

 
   
 
 

Unexpected Archives

 
 

Sun, 4 Aug 02

 
 

Dreamcast - the hackers tool?

 
 

At DefCon X a couple of developers have created software to run on a Dreamcast to perform what they call “180-degree hacking”. By attaching the innocent looking console inside a network, it has a good look around and then tunnels out. I just love the way the Dreamcast is still a living platform, even if it's manufacturer has officially given up on it.

 
   
 
 

Unexpected Archives

 
 

Tue, 30 Jul 02

 
 

Spectacular video

 
 

This has to be one of the most spectacular pieces of video I've ever seen. I trawled the Net this is about as good as I've found - sadly not as clear as the TV version. [Thanks to the BBC for the link]

 
   
 
 

Unexpected Archives

 
 

Fri, 19 Jul 02

 
 

Oh shit man, it's Shipman

 
 

The enquiry into ex-doctor, Harold Shipman has published its results He killed at least 215 of his patients and is thought to have murdered a further 45 - making him one of the world's worst mass murderers. Who say that Britain isn't the best in the World at some things.

 
   
 
 

Unexpected Archives

 
 

Wed, 27 Feb 02

 
 

Sadly Spike Milligan died

 
 

I was really sad to see that Spike Milligan died today. Having written all of the Goon shows, I always found him totally off the wall and usually very funny, although I struggled a bit through some of his Q show in the '70s.

Reading the press pieces on him today , I learnt another great piece of comic genius - Milligan once expressed the fervent wish that the disc jockey Chris Evans contract leprosy and die.

 
   
 
 

Unexpected Archives

 
 

Wed, 23 Jan 02

 
 

Hand drawn clock

 
 

What a great idea - a hand drawn clock on a Web page.

 
   
 
 

Unexpected Archives

 
 

Wed, 16 Jan 02

 
 

Paranoia? - Labour MPs protest

 
   
   
 
 

Unexpected Archives

 
 

Wed, 28 Nov 01

 
 

I really want one

 
 

I really want one of these. It must be about one of the most powerful hairdryers money can buy. I watched the MPEG, stunned by the lack of action - does it really work?